cHRONICLE #1

Chronicle 1: You're Not Broken. You're Designed

Why confusion about your calling isn't a faith problem — it's a language problem

May 10, 2026

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There’s a phrase I carried for years without realizing it was a lie:  “You’re just too sensitive.”

I heard it first as a little girl, fresh from Trinidad, standing in an American classroom, trying to connect with people who only heard my accent. When I went home hurting, the answer I got wasn’t comfort — it was correction. Tuck it in. Keep going. Don’t feel so much.

So I learned to mask.  I grew up and became a public health analyst. On paper, it made sense. Stable. Respectable. Logical. But internally, I was still performing — trying to be the cold analyst when I was wired to be a compassionate anchor.

And I was exhausted.  Not because I wasn’t working hard enough. I was exhausted because I was trying to play a song that was never written for me.

The question I had to stop asking

For years, I kept asking God: Why don’t I fit? I thought the answer was more discipline. More faith. More effort to become “well-rounded.” I believed that if I just worked harder on my weaknesses, I would finally feel at peace.

But the real answer wasn’t about working harder. It was about understanding my design. Scripture tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We say it. We put it on coffee mugs. But many of us don’t actually live from it — because we’ve never had language for how we are made.

That’s where everything changed for me.

When the lights came on

When I encountered Whole Brain Thinking (HBDI®), a framework used to understand how people think and process the world, something clicked that no amount of journaling or prayer journeys had unlocked before.

It gave me language. There are four distinct thinking styles — four ways the brain naturally prefers to process information:

• Blue (Truth-Seeker): Logical, analytical, fact-based — the What 

• Green (Faithful Steward): Organized, structured, detailed — the How 

• Red (Compassionate Anchor): Relational, emotional, people-centered — the Who 

• Yellow (Visionary Architect): Big-picture, intuitive, creative — the Why

Most of us aren’t equally fluent in all four. We have “home” quadrants — the way of thinking that feels most natural — and “away” quadrants that feel like a foreign language. For the first time, I could see why I felt the tension. Why I felt out of place. Why I was so tired.

I wasn’t broken. I was designed.

What this means for your calling

Here’s what I’ve come to understand: God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called. But much of that equipment is already there — pre-installed in the very way your brain processes the world. When you treat your natural way of thinking like a flaw to fix rather than a design to understand, you spend your life apologizing for the very tools God gave you.

The analytical person who thinks they’re “too cold.” The structured person who thinks they’re “too rigid.” The empathetic person who thinks they’re “too emotional.” The visionary who thinks they’re “too scattered.”

None of those are flaws. They are the signature of a specific calling.

The shift

Confidence doesn’t come from becoming more well-rounded. It comes from understanding how you were designed — and having the courage to lead from that place instead of apologizing for it. You are not behind. You are not broken. You are not too much or not enough.

You are a specialized masterpiece, designed for a specific purpose. And the confusion you’ve been feeling? It’s not a sign that you’re missing something spiritually. It’s often a sign that you’ve been trying to play someone else’s song.